Being Lazy

Just being lazy as my title of the day after 3 long months of absent from my blog! It's always good and previlage to be able to work from home, but it has been a habit of creepy laziness haunting me everyday. Sound bad? It suppose to be heaven to everyone out there but too much of previlage leads to laziness as a whole. Hmmm...

Now my brain has channel my though to think abt this word "initiative", this makes me smile in a cynical way. You must be wondering why? Let me tell you, for the pass 6 mths I have colleagues resigning and the boss said headcount freeze. What is that suppose to mean?? Headcount freeze, should one be happy or sad?? You all out there let me know, k cause my brain is abt to freeze out too.

Happy - learn new things and suffer for the next few months until the headcount unfreeze.

Sad - pau ka leow (1 leg kicking) .... short and simple!

Everyone around me has starts looking for jobs, even the managers! This makes me freaking out, now you all know why laziness creep out of me. This is pure unmotivation to contribute to the organisation that has been feeding me with cash to survive this harsh society of unbalance life!

I think, I sound too nutty to continue before I start to rip off this blog with my virtual thought and stain my blog with uncivilize vocabulary.

Have a nice day all.... continue sleeping on my job... keke!!!!

Car Bang!

I would say yesterday evening as now is 12.59am as I'm unable to sleep. I was on the way to my piano class as I was about to turn to Wangsa Maju my car has been hit by another car. Its a student from UIAM. My front and behind passenger door has been dented. I'm very upset now as I need the car for work on Wednesday night for my presentation/training to US user. I needed the car to bring myself to the office as last week it was cancel due to unable to dial in, thanks to Maxis phone line...

I wonder how many misfortune will I have to go throught this year. This has not been smooth for me ever since after CNY. My granny has pass away on Sunday 30th May 2010 around 7am and only my maid saw her breathe the last breathe. I was in Kuching holidaying, can you believe it. Oh yeah... I flew back on the last day of the wake, and manage to see her for the last time in the coffin before the burial the next day. When I reach its consider the last day of the wake, thanks to Air Asia fantastic flight, which is only 1 night flight from Kuching to Penang. Nothing seem to be favoring me since I landed there on Thursday night.

And last evening about 6.30pm my car was bang. I'm wondering if the student able to pay me, or shall I make police report to claim her insurance? I'm still thinking, I don't like to involve the police as they enjoy making side income. What I'm going to do today is drive my car to the auto shop, get the quotation if the person is around. Call the gal or sms the gal if she is having class and ask her if she able to come out with that money else I need to make police report within 24 hrs to claim from her insurance. I'm I too harsh on the student? If worst come to worst, I just have to bear with the car payment. My yearly donation... *sigh* I believe in karma...

I hate writing police report, its a hassle. Need to write in BM pula... ish! Argh!!!!

God, has pity on me and the gal. My life is rather dull lately but money is not an option to waste unnecessarily. Everybody thinks I earn alot but here leaving alone cost more then leaving with my parents. Work salary, no increament after working more then 1 year. Boss say patient, colleague resigning one after another. I feel lost again. Go back home, is an option but not a advisable one. *taking a deep breathe*

Glad that this blog helps me to express myself else I'm going nuts with thoughts wondering in my mind. Can I sleep now? But I'm not sleepy yet, soon I will be falling asleep in office again...

Should I make police report? Else I have to bear all the payment!!!! I feel stupid when comes to deal with all this stuff... I need someone to support me, I feel weak.... tired and hopeless at the same time.... :'(

Mentally unhappy.... depression??? I don't know... seow ki leow...

Too many words to say

Its 3.30am now...too many things in my mind now. I do not know how what to blog. I keep on thinking and flashback abt what happen yesterday but there are too many things happen everyday. I hope to blog happy things like today....I went to shabu-shabu in Kepong.

Yum Yum!! Getting fat looking for food to feel happy.

Dinner in McD

Sitting here in Mc D eating my favorite value set meal "fillet O fish" with sunday chocolate. Satisfying... for my dinner. Sitting besides a table full of noisy teenagers... reminds me of myself when I'm at their age. Care free don't have to worry ab0ut money and just waste time doing nothing but study. It was a fun dinner for them aside to myself sitting here alone enjoying my own dinner of value meal.

I finally mange to find another new room which will save me at least Rm100 permth. Bigger room with cheaper rent, Y not... My current hsemate yet to reply me, I guess he has to find a new housemate...hmm, forgot to take my value meal picture...haha!!

I never thought that I would end up in Mc D having my dinner. I'm basically broke, empty until end of the week and next... weeee.... wanted to on diet but keep on eating non stop.
Kind of bore doing exercise by myself... thinking of hiking... we shall see... how...haha!!

Don't know what to write anymore, can't think... just don't wan to be in my room cause it very warm. Mc D is air-con...cool... but my laptop batt will only last for another 1 hr or so to the max.

OK-la...I end here...nothing much to update besides same old story... but rather excited to move to a new roooommm soooonnnn... :)

Jia You!!!!

Flight Landed Safely

He just sms me saying that his flight landed safely. Gonna miss you sayang... see you when you are back in Dec.... sob sob...hu hu...
Help him pack until 3am in the morning...OMG luckily there is another fren of his around to help out else until 7am also cannot finish. Procastinating on his things to bring back, to throw or not to throw. So many bags so many boxes so many and so many things... jialat!!!!
I took some of his stuff back to my place cause he can never fix it in his bag anymore. Luckily he only rent a room, if rent an entire house...move the whole house back, haha!!!! Everything also still can use, everything also cannot be found anymore.
I think the best job he can keep is a recycle business, he is going to be rich...no millionaire... no kidding, his stuff is antique and recyclable... Why din he think abt it? Hmm... if he can't get the job maybe can open a recycle business for a start...everybody has rubbish to throw and dispose!!
WHY NOT!!!
Sayang, when you become rich and load, don't forget me you know! haha!!!!!

Shopping!!!

What is like to go shopping with a guy? To buy his winter sweater and track pants to hike Mt. KK...He is the only guy that I ever know so yim chim but its good everything he buys must be value for money!...I told him, we should change sex, he becomes the girl and I become the guy... ahhaha!!!My number 1 principle...if buy don't think, if think don't buy.... keke!! >.<....

He skip his church service...very naughty of him... WHY?? cause we wanted to go pasar malam for dinner...hahaha!!!We walk around the pasar malam after we had dinner at Ming Tien food court. I had pizza and he had fish head mee hoon. Before that I went to a bakery shop near by to buy wholemeal bread, cheese tart,cupcake and chococlate chip cupcake. The cupcake not good but yet to try the wholemeal bread... he finished it in 1 day..pengsan!!I think he feed on bread only...haha!!!

Today lunch, I feel like a big big lamp post...haha!!! It suppose to be their meet up, I should have leave... but he will notlike it... Both of them no connection, he also dumb dumb one...hahahah!!!! beh tahan!!!

He is here in my room around 5pm...typing my MSN chating with my frens and checking emails!!Confusing my colleague as well...haha!He notice the little heart with angel wings on my laptop, hehe...

He came and pass me stamping pads, the one I said very cute and I want it and he gave it to me... hahaha!!! And I said to him, i'm joking only... :P He sure 'pei si' me under his breath but I like the stamping pads with cartoons and nice words on it...

I'm tired, the lift at my place is not working again!!!! I take the stairs, OMG...I'm sweating like nobody business... my hair is wet like I'm under the rain!

It's SATURDAY!!!

This is the only time I get my full recharge to battle on Monday again. Just wake up to write something here to record moments that we have before he leaves for good. It was fun been around him when he did funny stuff and stupid jokes just to make me laugh.
He showed me his puchase for Mt. KK hike. He is almost ready to go up and this morning he went for training again to build up his stamina and yesterday I just realise that his bod is getting better with visible muscle line build up. Drolly for me...haha!!! Cuci mata... haha...
We had chicken wing and cornetto ice-cream ( choco strawberry cheese flavor), it is sourish with the strawberry in the middle and no taste of cheese at all. It is such a disappointment with the ice-cream. The chicken wing was great!!

Sayang, Oh! sayang...

I'm talking to him now, he buzz me just now asking me why I'm bitter? He thought that I have problems that bothering me. I told him, there is no problem so no story to tell him. Man are really that blur or just pretending to be caring and blur at the same time. I can't open my mouth to say anything to him. Just let it be, that is only thought I have now.

I'm bitter b'cos, I feel sick sitting alone at Taman Bahagia hawker stall alone eating porridge and drinking a hot Milo. I called but he is still in the restaurant with his friends...
I feel so hopeless when the lady knock the table and split the porridge on me. I was just starting to eat my first spoon of porridge. The milo split into the porridge as well and I was not feeling good as gastic is attacking. I feel vunerable, wanting him to come and rescue me out of the embarrasment but he was not around. I called back telling him abt what happen and went back home to change. Deep down I know he will not be able to make it, that is very usual of him. He is not flexible to changes, no critical thinking for solution but complaint most of the time when things he plan did not happen.

This is how I will be feeling after he leaves KL, alone...

He insist on me telling him abt my problem, I told him to search in the net to read abt my problem and he did! Why other things he don't listen, but he listens to this suggestion and take action. He pasted my Fb quotes on my MSN asking me if this is the blog I'm writing....haha!!
I suddenly feel scare that he will find this blog. Why? Don't I wan him to know abt my thought? I don't really want to be that transperant to him. haha!!! Writing this blog is transperant to the world out there...haha!!!

I told him, GOD's Will to find this blog of mine. Haha!!! I"m so mean...!!! Menz are idiots, women are bitches....haha!!! He is insisting on giving him the blog link to him... why? Is that how he wants to know what I'm feeling now, just like 4 years ago?

Letting him find this blog will end up another more pain and hurt to my heart that currently not feeling anything now. I don't wan to stir up any feeling...
I cried when I feel hopeless...to make myself feel better and move on. Why wan the same man to hurt you twice? He already say to you, don't fall in love with him already.
I'm very sure I'm not in love with him but I just gonna miss him alot...
I'm hurt too many times to feel the pain anymore...

The Day Nearing

Listening to the Korean song that he send to me from the movie 200 Pound Beauty... the translated lyric is making me realise that my situation is becoming more similar to the song lyric.
We have been spending more time together recently b'cos he needs my help to search stuff for his Mt. KK trip.
There is no reason for us to go out and spend time together anymore so this is one of the good reason. God's will that he is bless with a free trip to Mt. KK creating time for us to spend together.

Waiting for him in Old Town Cafe at Jaya One for almost 2 hrs... is that act of friend or willingness to wait for him? I don't know but if for a friend I still think I will do it as I'm also alone at home doing nothing. (Words of consoling myself for not feeling foolish.) haha!!!

I skip my work to company him from 1 Utama to Sunway Pyramid just to get his stuff for Mt.KK. Worth it? I don't know... some ppl will say foolish. Well love is foolish after all...it makes a person think irrationally too... but I was not in mood to work and wanted to be with him for as much time as possible before he leaves... Why not?

Loneliness makes us do foolish things too...

We had Bangsar mamak last night, it was good as usual. I ordered Apom manis, tosai bawang and nasi lemak. I had limau panas and he had teh halia.... we shared. He pays hahaha....!!! Its always sweet to share.... time to remember... He is leaving next week... @>------

Tosai Bawang, yummy!!!

200 Pound Beauty Lyric

The music of this song is so beautiful but the translation lyric is so sad... just need to post it up in the blog... sayang, my heart is not beating hard for you, my heart dun feel the pain that you are leaving. Maybe I have been hurt too many times to feel the pain anymore or perhaps I'm still looking forward for you to pop out the question that you will never ask... GOD's Will...


#Tae Yeon#
If I go, if I go closer to you
I wonder what you may think, I can’t drum up the courage

If you go, if you go away from me
It is scary to figure out how to let you go

Perhaps, the reason I only look at you,
like a fool,is for fear that you may turn your face away,
and you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.
If you come, if you come closer to me
I really don’t know what to do

Perhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,
is for fear that you may turn your face away, and
you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

First thought of the year, 2010

After 3 years of non-blogging as I turn to conventional way of expressing my thought using pen and papers. I decided to start again...I feel lonely now, very lonely.
I hope this blog will be my companion when I'm feeling lonely. Expressing my thoughts and silly ideas to bitch, to discriminate, to escape the real world and to cheer myself up.

Sound sad, don't you think so? Well that is how I'm feeling now...but then this year the Golden Tiger year, I have a plan...

Last year March 23rd, I started a new job in PJ. New beginning for year 2009 as well and new ppl I meet and new friends that I made. I'm glad that I meet good ppl along the way. Yet I feel empty without him but I try my best to live without him. Do I have a choice? Yes, I do. I may stay back and continue working as a contract worker as Learning Product Engineer and be with him. My mind thinks otherwise, I wanted to come down to KL and have a career for myself. I wanted to move down here for a long time which is 3 years ago. I was so busy struggling to move on and yet I stay on at the same place for 3 years. Its all happen so fast and its going to be a year soon.

At the early stage, I was feeling excited and I guess he is sad. I'm struggling too but my dreams is so much bigger that it covers him up. Its always the wrong time but the right person or the right time but the wrong person. At the end of the day, he gave up as his heart is empty already... I guess it ends here for good. So I have to move on...without him. I tried my best to keep in touch with him but there is no msg, or phone calls so that is it...the end of another short story.

When I'm with you, I feel so much fun, laughter, love and care, understanding and mischieving everyday. You will always here in my heart and memory...I always have a place for everyone that I meet.

Love always,
Mimi