This is the only time I get my full recharge to battle on Monday again. Just wake up to write something here to record moments that we have before he leaves for good. It was fun been around him when he did funny stuff and stupid jokes just to make me laugh.He showed me his puchase for Mt. KK hike. He is almost ready to go up and this morning he went for training again to build up his stamina and yesterday I just realise that his bod is getting better with visible muscle line build up. Drolly for me...haha!!! Cuci mata... haha...We had chicken wing and cornetto ice-cream ( choco strawberry cheese flavor), it is sourish with the strawberry in the middle and no taste of cheese at all. It is such a disappointment with the ice-cream. The chicken wing was great!! 
I'm talking to him now, he buzz me just now asking me why I'm bitter? He thought that I have problems that bothering me. I told him, there is no problem so no story to tell him. Man are really that blur or just pretending to be caring and blur at the same time. I can't open my mouth to say anything to him. Just let it be, that is only thought I have now.
I'm bitter b'cos, I feel sick sitting alone at Taman Bahagia hawker stall alone eating porridge and drinking a hot Milo. I called but he is still in the restaurant with his friends...
I feel so hopeless when the lady knock the table and split the porridge on me. I was just starting to eat my first spoon of porridge. The milo split into the porridge as well and I was not feeling good as gastic is attacking. I feel vunerable, wanting him to come and rescue me out of the embarrasment but he was not around. I called back telling him abt what happen and went back home to change. Deep down I know he will not be able to make it, that is very usual of him. He is not flexible to changes, no critical thinking for solution but complaint most of the time when things he plan did not happen.
This is how I will be feeling after he leaves KL, alone...
He insist on me telling him abt my problem, I told him to search in the net to read abt my problem and he did! Why other things he don't listen, but he listens to this suggestion and take action. He pasted my Fb quotes on my MSN asking me if this is the blog I'm writing....haha!!
I suddenly feel scare that he will find this blog. Why? Don't I wan him to know abt my thought? I don't really want to be that transperant to him. haha!!! Writing this blog is transperant to the world out there...haha!!!
I told him, GOD's Will to find this blog of mine. Haha!!! I"m so mean...!!! Menz are idiots, women are bitches....haha!!! He is insisting on giving him the blog link to him... why? Is that how he wants to know what I'm feeling now, just like 4 years ago?
Letting him find this blog will end up another more pain and hurt to my heart that currently not feeling anything now. I don't wan to stir up any feeling...
I cried when I feel hopeless...to make myself feel better and move on. Why wan the same man to hurt you twice? He already say to you, don't fall in love with him already.
I'm very sure I'm not in love with him but I just gonna miss him alot...
I'm hurt too many times to feel the pain anymore...
Listening to the Korean song that he send to me from the movie 200 Pound Beauty... the translated lyric is making me realise that my situation is becoming more similar to the song lyric.
We have been spending more time together recently b'cos he needs my help to search stuff for his Mt. KK trip.
There is no reason for us to go out and spend time together anymore so this is one of the good reason. God's will that he is bless with a free trip to Mt. KK creating time for us to spend together.
Waiting for him in Old Town Cafe at Jaya One for almost 2 hrs... is that act of friend or willingness to wait for him? I don't know but if for a friend I still think I will do it as I'm also alone at home doing nothing. (Words of consoling myself for not feeling foolish.) haha!!!
I skip my work to company him from 1 Utama to Sunway Pyramid just to get his stuff for Mt.KK. Worth it? I don't know... some ppl will say foolish. Well love is foolish after all...it makes a person think irrationally too... but I was not in mood to work and wanted to be with him for as much time as possible before he leaves... Why not?
Loneliness makes us do foolish things too...
We had Bangsar mamak last night, it was good as usual. I ordered Apom manis, tosai bawang and nasi lemak. I had limau panas and he had teh halia.... we shared. He pays hahaha....!!! Its always sweet to share.... time to remember... He is leaving next week... @>------
Tosai Bawang, yummy!!!
The music of this song is so beautiful but the translation lyric is so sad... just need to post it up in the blog... sayang, my heart is not beating hard for you, my heart dun feel the pain that you are leaving. Maybe I have been hurt too many times to feel the pain anymore or perhaps I'm still looking forward for you to pop out the question that you will never ask... GOD's Will...#Tae Yeon#If I go, if I go closer to youI wonder what you may think, I can’t drum up the courageIf you go, if you go away from meIt is scary to figure out how to let you goPerhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,is for fear that you may turn your face away, and you and I may drift further apartPerhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.
If you come, if you come closer to meI really don’t know what to doPerhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,is for fear that you may turn your face away, and you and I may drift further apartPerhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.
