Sayang, Oh! sayang...

I'm talking to him now, he buzz me just now asking me why I'm bitter? He thought that I have problems that bothering me. I told him, there is no problem so no story to tell him. Man are really that blur or just pretending to be caring and blur at the same time. I can't open my mouth to say anything to him. Just let it be, that is only thought I have now.

I'm bitter b'cos, I feel sick sitting alone at Taman Bahagia hawker stall alone eating porridge and drinking a hot Milo. I called but he is still in the restaurant with his friends...
I feel so hopeless when the lady knock the table and split the porridge on me. I was just starting to eat my first spoon of porridge. The milo split into the porridge as well and I was not feeling good as gastic is attacking. I feel vunerable, wanting him to come and rescue me out of the embarrasment but he was not around. I called back telling him abt what happen and went back home to change. Deep down I know he will not be able to make it, that is very usual of him. He is not flexible to changes, no critical thinking for solution but complaint most of the time when things he plan did not happen.

This is how I will be feeling after he leaves KL, alone...

He insist on me telling him abt my problem, I told him to search in the net to read abt my problem and he did! Why other things he don't listen, but he listens to this suggestion and take action. He pasted my Fb quotes on my MSN asking me if this is the blog I'm writing....haha!!
I suddenly feel scare that he will find this blog. Why? Don't I wan him to know abt my thought? I don't really want to be that transperant to him. haha!!! Writing this blog is transperant to the world out there...haha!!!

I told him, GOD's Will to find this blog of mine. Haha!!! I"m so mean...!!! Menz are idiots, women are bitches....haha!!! He is insisting on giving him the blog link to him... why? Is that how he wants to know what I'm feeling now, just like 4 years ago?

Letting him find this blog will end up another more pain and hurt to my heart that currently not feeling anything now. I don't wan to stir up any feeling...
I cried when I feel hopeless...to make myself feel better and move on. Why wan the same man to hurt you twice? He already say to you, don't fall in love with him already.
I'm very sure I'm not in love with him but I just gonna miss him alot...
I'm hurt too many times to feel the pain anymore...